Almost everyone loves sex, some of us more than others.
And, yes, “everyone” includes some of your girlfriends and wives, whom you doubtless want to please in the bedroom.
Despite that fact, however, some men struggle to get their partners where they want to be in the bedroom.
Which is okay. It happens, and it’s completely normal not to be amazing at sex; most people aren’t.
Although you might never be amazing in the bedroom, you can still improve your performance in the bedroom if you take these tips (straight from the mouths of women) into consideration:
Foreplay Is Not Optional
Okay. Maybe foreplay is optional; there are, after all, tons of people who don’t regularly engage in it and still manage to have at least halfway decent sex lives.
Even so, there are tons of people, namely women, who view foreplay as an essential part of their experiences in the bedroom, and many of these women wish that their male partners valued it as much as they do.
So why do women have such an attachment to foreplay?
In truth, there are a number of reasons, the most important of which is that sex becomes uncomfortable and sometimes downright painful when women are not properly prepped for it.
“Prep” in this case refers to taking the steps needed to make sure that your partner’s vagina is sufficiently lubricated before penetration occurs.
There are, of course, multiple ways of getting the job done, and foreplay certainly makes the job easier and less awkward.
The simplest course of action is to purchase some sort of vaginal lubricant and apply it for her.
Don’t, however, just mechanically apply the stuff to her neither regions; you should make the process as arousing as possible. In other words, use your fingers as expertly as possible (i.e. stroke) in order to get her nice and ready for what’s to come.
You could also skip the lubricant altogether and go the “natural” route. That is to say, you could just rely on your partner’s vagina to lubricate itself in response to her arousal.
This route obviously assumes that your partner doesn’t have any problems with vaginal dryness. If she happens to have an issue with this, you are going to want to use the lubricant.
In any case, just as you couldn’t mechanically approach the task of applying lube, you can’t get away with it when taking the “natural” route either. You’re also going to have to work for it a bit more.
Quite a few couples spice up their foreplay by role-playing and talking dirty to each other, but if you’re not into those things, there are plenty of other routes you can take.
Just get creative. Your partner will thank you for it.
Porn Is Not Out of the Question
While many sources indicate that women are just not interested in porn, men stand to lose little by simply asking their partners about.
After all, there are some porn-loving women out there. Many of them, as it turns out, just happen to be shy about the habit.
In fact, some of them don’t even want their partners to know that they’re into it.
Regardless of whether or not your partner is shy, though, you should at least run the idea by her.
If you are going to bring porn into your bedroom, however, you do need to be careful about how you use it; you shouldn’t just pop the video into your DVD player and turn the television up.
To be fair, a mistake of this type is to be expected since men rely so much on visual stimulation during sex.
Women, on the other hand, are an entirely different beast; they are more responsive to touch, sound, and smell.
That said, why not use porn to amplify the pleasure their other senses afford them?
In other words, play the porn, but mute it, and as the two of you go at it, supply the sound yourselves.
Very little could be more erotic than replacing the moans and groans of the actors in the video with your own.
Even if you should choose not to the mute the video, the moans and groans are still highly recommended. After all, your lady partner definitely wants to hear you moaning in her ear.
Women Like to Be Touched…Everywhere
As previously stated, visual stimulation does not arouse women as much as other types of stimulation.
While they are not particularly responsive to sight, however, they are incredibly sensitive to touch.
And, unfortunately, many of them feel that their male partners do not make efforts to touch any part of them but their vaginas.
But don’t misunderstand. Women want you to touch their vaginas; they just want you to touch the remaining 99% of their bodies as well.
Some women, for example, love for men to kiss and nuzzle their necks during sex.
Some women wish that men would pay more attention to their breasts. They often lament the fact their partners don’t cup their breats or suck on their nipples. Others want their partners to bite their nipples.
Perhaps the simplest, most overlooked thing of all, some women just want men to pay attention to their lips. In other words, women just want men to kiss them more often during sex. Not just during foreplay.
A few women even encourage their partners to kiss them just as they are about to experience an orgasm.
Why, however, do men fail to do these things? After all, they seem simple.
Too many men, it seems, often forget that what turns them on won’t turn their partners on. Not only that, but they rely entirely too much on their penises to get the job done.
Yes, sex involves your genitals, but there are other parts of the body that are looking to get in on the fun. You should always be exploring your partner’s body in order to find her “spot.”
If, however, you are apprehensive about this type of exploration, you can remedy this problem by communicating with your partner.
Of course, this type of communication can be challenging (as this East London Escorts employee discusses), but your sex life will not get better if you and your partner are not open with each other about what you want in the bedroom.
You’re Moving Too Fast
I’m sure that you’ve heard that “slow and steady wins the race.”
As untrue as this saying is in most cases, it is never more correct when we are discussing our sex lives.
While some women really do appreciate a faster pace in the bedroom, there plenty of others who just wish that their partners would slow down.
Because there is a time and a place for everything.
And some men are terrible at gauging just when they should speed things up or slow them down.
Generally speaking, if a man adopts a fast pace from the get-go, he is going to climax before his partner, assuming that she even orgasms at all.
Some women recommend taking things slowly in the beginning and gradually increasing the pace, or simply taking things slowly until they are right on the edge.
You might also try a more dynamic approach, alternating between quick strokes and slower ones. This method, of course, might require that you and your partner are good at communicating with each other during sex.
You Don’t Return Any Favors In Bed
For some people, this particular point can be a bit…controversial.
Even so, it still needs to be addressed because there are more than enough women who are genuinely annoyed by their partners’ unwillingness to return sexual favors.
No, sex is not some tit-for-tat affair, but let’s be honest: No one wants a selfish lover.
That said, don’t ask for any favors that you won’t be willing to return (i.e. oral sex).
And saying that giving your partner oral is “gross” is not an excuse.
Just think about it. If you are grossed out by the thought of putting your mouth anywhere near your partner’s genitals, surely she is just as grossed by the thought of putting her mouth around yours.
But she does it anyway.
There are, of course, obvious exceptions. If your partner’s hygiene is bad (an issue you should definitely address) or she is menstruating, you no doubt get a pass.
Not only do women wish that men would return favors in bed, but they also wish that their partners thought enough about whether or not they got off.
Simply put, some men just don’t think about their partners’ pleasure; they likely assume that sex is pleasurable because it’s sex.
As a result, some men just decide that sex with their partner is “done” once they’ve had their orgasms.
The problem is, fortunately, solvable. You can either slow things down (as we discussed earlier) or find ways to pleasure your partner even after you have orgasmed.
Your erection might be nonexistent at that point, but you’ll still have 10 fingers and a tongue at your disposal. Make them count for something.
Sex is by no means easy for everyone, and, ultimately, some of the tips on this list will take time and practice to apply to your sex life.
Don’t be discouraged; you and your partner will get there.
And you’ll no doubt have a lot of fun along the way.